Ore wa Juni
by Penelope Loc
Summary: Take story about a teenage boy named Pico working in a maid's costume as a waitress,then replace him with a six foot grown man in appropriate clothing,and you get Ore no Juni. Juni works at the same cafe in Boku no Pico as a foreign-exchange character,and finds the horrible truth about this sad, sad anime. There is an author's note at the beginning the story;read it before reading!


**Hello reader, by reading this fan-fiction, you will abide by this contract; Yours Truly is not responsible for any mental and/or physical damages caused by the controversial anime, Boku no Pico, or any associates of such. Therefore, don't watch it, or listen to some friend who recommends it to you. Thank you, and enjoy.**

Okay! Let's start this s***!

_(*ahem, ahem* sings Boku no Pico theme song)_

"Wait wait wait! This is the wrong theme song! I ain't that Pico pedomagnet!"

Well, then Juni, do you have a _better_ song, then?

"Uh duh! Right here in the latest floppy disk; Juni never comes unprepared!"

...You _never _had a good taste in music.

"Then stop me from playing it!"

(Juni puts in the floppy disk)

"And a one and a two and a three!"

_I like German Sparkle Party_

_I like German Sparkle Party (sparkle party, sparkle party)_

_Ger-_

Okay okay! Just skip to the episode-NOW!

* * *

One a very hot and windy day, Juni was serving customers at his part-time job at a cafe in the Boku no Picoverse as a foreign- exchange cartoon character. Within the peak of the heat, Juni was having a heated argument with an angry customer, when a flashy Mercedes creeped up to the entrance. Immediately, that Angry Bird fled the scene, as though it saw an indestructible pig. Forgetting about him, Juni was now entranced by who could possibly be in there. After some minutes, what seemed like forever to our waiter, a young man who appeared to be in college, and a shy-looking little girl (maybe guy?) emerged from the car. With their presence, an old man, the owner came out and embraced the college guy in a bro-hug.

"I haven't seen you in a long time, young man!" cried the owner.

" You too, Gramps; I'm impressed! you managed to open your second shop!"

"Yeah and it sure is a success! So what brings you here, son?"

The hot winds stopped whispering their fiery words for a moment.

"Oh, I have some boys to- I mean, some business to do, so I need you to take care of Pico-chan here; Can I trust you with that?"

Without hesitating, the aged owner said:

"Why sure! I'll just let him work as a waitress with that nice gentleman over there!"

_Wait a minute, him, as in 'boy'?_ thought Juni.

Regardless, Pico and Juni worked for the next two hours, serving customers food and drinks.

"So you're a boy?" rudely asked Juni, "Then how come you're wearing girl clothes?"

Pico blushed uncomfortably, trying to come up with an excuse.

"Well… it doesn't matter whether I'm in boy or girl clothes, because I look like a girl regardless…"

"Oh, okay then. Good enough I guess."

At the end of the day, the owner, now known as Pico's grandpa, gave them free ice cream as a reward for not playing hooky, unlike all the other waiters and waitresses.

"Juni, Pico, I would like you two to know each other, so I would like you, Juni-san, to give Pico-chan a ride around town. Why you, out of all people? It's because I believe in safety and innocence for my little Pico under a grown man's protection!*

*worst mistake in every Hentai.

* * *

So Juni and Pico rode around town, eating ice cream and frankly, not talking at all. Sure it's not like they hate each other, but what does a grown man from a series of comics with bad jokes, have in common with a kid from a Hentai? It so, so very peaceful and blatantly boring that Juni wanted to scream out of nowhere! At least it was,until they hit a bump on the road, and Pico spilled his ice cream. Immediately, Juni and Pico rushed out of the car. Further inspection revealed the bump was a kid in a orange hoodie.

"Oh my god, you killed Kenny!"

"You bast***!"

"My god!" screamed a horrified Juni, "I'm so sorry!"

"Sorry about what?" asked the kid in a puffball hat, "You nearly killed us, but no one got hurt."

"But I just ran over that!" (gestures to Kenny)

"Who's that? asked the other kid.

"Please don't f*** me…" said Pico all of a sudden.

"WHAT!?" asked the three (now horrified) normal people.

"I-it's a long story..." stammered Pico.

Poor Pico then proceed to explain how Tamotsu the Terrible used the old hit-a-bump(or person)-on-the-road-on-purpose trick as to make him spill his ice cream the last time, and use that as an excuse to screw him up.

"...and then, that Tamotsu-bast*** told me I needed to pay him for the damages, and then before I knew it, I was being screwed…*sniff.*

"What the-?" roared Juni, "What kind of world is this!?"

* * *

At 90 mph, they sped back to the cafe, just as Pico's grandpa was locking up the shop.

"Sir! You have A LOT of explaining to do!"

With that, good ol' grandpa forced Juni to watch Boku no Pico, Pico to Chico, and Pico to Coco to Chico in one f***ing sitting.

"Oh my god! Screw you guys, I'm going to Pokemon!

**Thank you for taking your time to read this parody. Lots of Wikipedia research was used in the creation of this, as I never had the guts to actually watch it!**


End file.
